I have mixed emotions this time of year. Even though the holidays are fun and eventful, I find the holidays to be the most anxious and stressful time of the year. Is there a way to enjoy the holidays while managing anxieties?
During the year that my dad passed away, a fog of grief clouded over me and I just wanted this cloud hanging over my head to vanish in thin air. I used to be the life of a party and enjoy being around people, but that all changed after my dad’s passing. Instead, my anxieties consumed me, making my body tense and being around many people made me anxious. Oh, how I longed for my old self back!
As the holiday approached, I really wanted to enjoy the holidays, but at the same time, the holidays triggered so many sad and negative emotions. When I saw families together, I was reminded how I missed my dad during the holidays and wished we could be together. I knew I couldn’t turn back time and have that moment again. The only thing I could control was my reactions in the present.
During that very year, I remember I didn’t handle my first big holiday party well. At the Friendsgiving party, everyone was having a good time at the party. On the other hand, I was trying to enjoy myself, but one of my friends triggered my emotions. She was a little too loud and tipsy. She said something that hit the wrong spot. That’s when I exploded into tears, running out of the party.
During the holidays of that year, I was invited to a Christmas party with friends. I wanted to attend the party to reconnect my friends, but at the same time, I didn’t want to feel overwhelmed and make a scene at the party. I certainly didn’t want what happened at the Friendsgiving party to repeat itself. Just thinking about the party made me sweat intensely.
One thing that I did differently was to have a plan to help relieve my overwhelm feelings at a party. I had to ask myself what triggered anxious feelings at a party. I knew that I felt more anxious and stressed around many people, so part of my plan was to converse with a person or two at a time rather than in a group. I also knew that I could be ambushed by grief at any moment, so I made sure I had an exit plan to leave the party. My plan was to let the host know before the party that I may leave unannounced because I was overwhelmed. I also gave myself permission to not attend the party if I feel too burden even before the party began. By creating a plan I was less anxious and more in control of my emotions.
At the party, I stuck to my plan. I made sure I stayed away from the noise and large groups of people. I left the party early because I knew I couldn’t survive the rest of evening. As a result, I actually had a good time. I’m glad that attended the party and created a plan for myself.
As you attend your new year’s party, consider creating a plan for yourself to reduce your anxiety and stress. By doing so, you’ll feel much freer and be able to enjoy the festivities. Happy New Year!
