Retreat

Over the Labor Day weekend, I went on a retreat in the beautiful Central Coast California. Coming into this retreat, I was worn out from life and sought much spiritual, emotional, and mental rest. This retreat helped me to find relaxation.

Once I knew about this retreat, I blocked out the time in my calendar and signed up for the retreat. Since I was burnt out from serving, I gave myself permission to not serve in any capacity. Usually, I’m the type of person who would volunteer myself to help out, but I knew if I helped out, I would regret it afterwards. Luckily, nobody asked me to help out with the retreat, but if someone did ask me to help out, I would have to draw boundaries and say “no.”

Before the retreat began, I set my own expectations and made my own permission list. I asked myself a series of questions:

• What does rest look like to me?
• How am I going to spend my time to be fully recharged?

At this moment, peaceful rest looked like not doing much, which was the opposite of how I normally operate. I’m the type of person who likes to feel productive in joining as many activities as I can and socialize with others. If I did all that, I would easily become tired.

When I thought about a retreat, I liked the idea of just sitting by myself, staring at the lush scenery of the great outdoors, and doing absolutely nothing. I wanted to forget about the stresses at home. How was this going to happen? How could I get my brain to rest when it’s constantly reminding me of my long to-do list?

Therefore, I created a permission list for this retreat that would help me achieve the peaceful rest my soul was longing for. I wrote this list down, which included:

• I give myself permission to not accomplish everything on the retreat’s schedule.
• I give myself permission to not be a social butterfly.
• I give myself permission to connect and engage with only one person.
• I give myself permission to be myself and let my guard down.
• I give myself permission to forget all my responsibilities at home.

By setting expectations and making a permission list, this helped me be more intentional to protect my rest time. I wrote down this permission list on a piece of paper and put it in my pocket so I could remind myself of them.

When I stepped foot at the retreat site, I took out my permissions list, took a deep breath, and said to myself “I give myself permissions to forget all my responsibilities at home.” Right then, I left my stresses and responsibilities at the door step of the retreat site. I had to deliberately choose not let these things get in the way of my enjoyment and rest time for this weekend.

By letting go of obligations for this weekend, I was free to let my guard down and be myself. My inner personality sprung out where I discovered a new person who was adventurous and lively. Just like I had wished coming into the retreat, I stepped away by myself from the schedule to take a short hike and gaze at nature’s beauty. I didn’t feel guilty about not following the schedule, but I enjoyed soaking in time to myself.

Many of my friends, whom I haven’t seen in a while, were at the retreat. I was tempted to catch up with all my friends, but I remembered I gave myself permission to connect with only one person. Even though I could have spent time with all my friends, I chose to only engage with just one friend, who was also trying to find rest in life. By being in the same life stage, I appreciated that someone understand my struggles and we encouraged each other to find rest in this busy world.

As a result, I was able to find the rest that I needed through the planning that I did beforehand. I really enjoyed my time at the retreat. This retreat helped me to recharge, so that I can be ready to fight the battles at home.